checkchocolate*

Start crumbling.

i don't know how to start talking about this drama.

When mere relating or speaking up for one's rights becomes complaining / being ungrateful in one's eyes, you know this is a misunderstanding. A very bad misunderstanding. I think I still don't really know what I want to do. Or maybe even what I don't. But as far as I'd expect, I never thought my ignorance/fickle-mindedness/whatever this is, would become a letdown to those who doesn't have the slightest idea of what I'm looking for, but are still sticking around to help me find the answer. To these people, I'm very grateful, and the last thing I want is for them to be part of the misunderstanding, really. But the look on your faces, it just says what I dread has already been done.

I think the worse of it all is that I find myself in this corner, like that of my pathetically confined workspace, unable to clear the air. But then again, do I really owe anybody an explanation? It's just like being shortchanged and feeling guilty about it. And it's been like this from the first day; you compromise because you're a plankton, or being perceived as one, until you're finally convinced that maybe you really are one so you think that you should compromise every time. After all, it's what everybody thinks. If it isn't so, they won't be throwing their weights around, would they?

What I really need now, is to let you know that I'm no two-faced monster like those whom you're having meetings with every day. And I don't deserve the death sentence. Just wished these morons knew better.