Ever since internship started, I've been cherishing the weekends a lot, bent on spending every second like I won't have another. I need rest, but I don't want to sleep the time away, or just sit in front of my lappy for the entire day. I want to spend time with people whom I love, love to have fun with, whom I don't get to see ever since work started. Want to go to the sales or movies I missed out on during the weekdays, want to buy the things that I like for when the week starts again, they may just get sold out while I'm not able to go shopping. It's good, in a way, like I don't really laze around anymore. But then again, it feels like I kind of over-cherished the free time.
Like to the point I, at times, worry myself with the fact that it's constantly slipping away, bit by bit. And finally, I'm left with none (until a week later, that is). To a point that, I'm obsessed about making full use of my own time. I start to assume that everybody rests when I do, and I forgot how others have their lives going on as well. I forgot how people would get tired after the entire day out, I just know that when I'm not ready to stop and rest, they shouldn't be too. Forgot how my family has housework, my friends have projects and assignments / work / army, etc. I just know that I only have that much time to spare, so it's all that matters. I forgot how people may be busy.
And yet those around have been so accommodating, reassuring me how they still could go on after having walked in the same mall for almost half the day, checking if I need company to head out and volunteering to be when the deadline for work is so so near, or just taking me out even when it's near closing time because I'd pull a long face at how my time would be wasted if I don't go out. I'm so thankful, but then again, I've been so selfish.
I'm thinking if I hadn't been that uptight about it all, everyone, including myself, may have a much easier time. If I was not so afraid, I may enjoy myself more. It's just crazy, how cherishing (the wrong way) could become a burden to those you would never want to hurt. Just glad I came to realize it now, before anything / anyone goes haywire. I'm so sorry. ;(
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