checkchocolate*

We change our minds

It seems that some people enter the lives of others just to become a memory. No sarcasm intended, but whenever I think back about the people who have come and gone in my life, it seemed like some never had the intention to stay from the beginning. In their context, this is just another stopover/resting place/ anywhere but the destination. And when it's time to move on, they just do. Leaving nothing except myself behind to think about the shouldn't-haves that might have made them stay. At least for a little longer.

Maybe it's how I am such a bore most of the time, but this is me. If I become someone else just to keep another, i'd be an actress. And apparently, I'm not. Those who left and never turned back, I wondered what they made out of our 'short acquaintance' (I guess this term best describes it). Do they replay the memories for the millionth time and still could not figure how things came to a standstill? Or wished they did something back then to salvage the situation so that it wouldn't spiral into one of the many big regrets they've accumulated since? Do they miss me the way I missed them but it all gradually fades away because the other party just isn't reciprocating? I have my doubts, but I sure wished they did, because I did and still do every now and then.

I've had too many of such people in my life it's not funny anymore. To give up trying to keep anyone seemed a better option; because it's like trying to hold water with your hands cupped. No matter how you try to close the gaps, they exist and people just slip away. Sadly, by choice. Need to be more independent, so when the next one leaves, I'll be able to live with (or rather without) it. Easier said than done though.

Damn these sons & daughters of a citation machine!