checkchocolate*

when it all falls down,

the only way is up.

Unicorn!

Feeling quite a bit of angst ever since yday. I went out with my aunt and realized how everyone (as in the adults in the family) was feeling bout this degree I intend to pursue, or in general, what I want to do with my life. Honestly, I still have no idea about the latter. And as if it doesn't suck enough to be forced to come up with an answer/make a decision aka grow up, everybody was pretty skeptical bout my academic decisions. I swear it's one of the worst feelings ever; not having your loved ones' support in the things you want/like to do. Sometimes I wish I was less of this worrywart/humji I am, so I'd have that ounce of courage or stubbornness to stay true to myself and prove everyone wrong in the end. Thing is, I'm a fucking humji and even when I've finally decided to stick to my guns, I find myself looking back at the slightest raised eyebrow. But i know where everybody's coming from; their fears are not unfounded. I worried bout the future from time to time, too. And comparisons aren't helping. Must there always be a mould of a second uncle's capable daughter or a third aunt's son that all the other kids should come out from? Am I only considered to be relevant if I follow her footsteps and eventually bring home a paycheck that's comparable to hers? Practicality > Interest, always? It's upsetting. 

And they tell you to follow your heart and chase your dreams. What dreams are there to talk about when people are already frowning over your fucking intended major?

Anyhoooooow, I've made my choice. Just need to follow through. Wish me luck people, tell me I can do this.