checkchocolate*

just before bedtime

toes, fairy lights, and my favourite quilt cover :)

Updating this space from the lappy on my bed tray while I snuggle in my quilt with the company of fairy lights and BigBang's Bad Boy (and continuously getting eargasms from Seunghyun's voice); I swear it's one of the best feelings everrrr. I know how I'm blogging like it's the holidays tmr but it's been a crazy week and I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a night off schoolwork (ok, actually it would, i'm waaaayyy behind my readings lol). Couldn't have done anything productive anyway, I realized that my brain has been charred since 7pm when I couldn't make sense out of the sentences in my soci of work reading despite there being no difficult/unfamiliar words at all. Not to mention that my right shoulder has been screaming for some rest since yday or so. :/ Mid-terms week and I only have 1 mid-term but it feels like I've sat for papers consecutively for the past 4 days; thanks to assignments and my awesome time management. @.@ Barely slept on Monday and forced myself through a 10am - 7pm Tuesday (was already uttering nonsense by the time I met the tutee), concussed, and woke only to burn the midnight oil on Wednesday again; welcome to University.

Times like this, along with those fb news feed on working friends who are seemingly having it sooo much better out there, I can't help but to think if I might be better off that way. Can't help but to question what the heck I'm doing with my life. Maybe it's because I haven't really got anything mapped out, and even if I have (which I suppose I do to a small extent), I'm hesitant about chasing my dreams because I know I'm not good enough yet (bet somebody's gonna give me the middle finger there and ask me to get some fucking confidence LOL).  I guess I'm afraid/insecure #whatsnew about how my efforts now doesn't guarantee anything in future, and I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this way. Then again, you don't find strength in numbers for this kinda stuff lol so it doesn't make a difference, you're still on your own. But rest assured (I'm not sure if this is meant for myself or the people who expect of me) I'm trying and as for now, I have took my first step. Not a very big one but at least it's a pre-requisite to test out Plan A and devise a Plan B if all else fails. 

Unintended /heavy/negative thoughts about life aside, I'm so thankful for friends who've been tolerating the worrywart in me whenever it acts up (pretty frequently lately) and being there to help; be it with my assignments or simply making me LOL after a brain-draining day. :) And lastly, to my favourite girls; i still miss seeing your faces in tutorial classes and during breaks (bet you all miss me moreee); and though we don't see each other that often now, know that i still, and always will, get the warm fuzzy feeling using the quilt cover you all bought me hehe! ♥