every bit worthy

I love how this message makes me seem like the protagonist in a Disney/Pixar movie who doesn't discover her full potential until the movie climax. But jokes aside, it actually made me teared a lil on the way to work today. #emotionalmonster (I really need to man up.) It was a much-needed encouragement, in the face of all the cynicism behind smiling faces. A pat-on-the-back suggesting that in navigating this winding path called Career in my Twenties, I might've done something right along the way. Or maybe I just struck gold, in the form of people who are constantly watching out for me and believing in me, even when I don't trust myself. A nurturing mentor, supportive friend or a great example (of a person in general lol), I am lucky to have met you :)

I would really hate to disappoint, and of course I don't intend to. But sometimes the hardest part of the journey is to reassure yourself that you are worthy of the trip, and I know better how much self-assurance I can spare. Me and myself, we need to stop having those dialogues and (likely over-analysed) thoughts about the opportunities that slipped right out of my fingers / the excess weight that's always there / the texts that never came (and the excess weight is still there) / the things that they said, and how all these go into defining one's value and self-worth. Life starts when you get out of your own head and maybe it's really time to start living.

The last time I felt this way was probably when I was deciding on whether to pursue Soci or Econs LOL. That seemed like the most life-changing decision at 20, only to reveal itself as a speck of dust in a Virgo's galaxy of decisions/worries when she's 25. No wonder people miss school. Soci was a great decision though, and I hope that my stronger, undefeated 27/28 yr old self could come by and laugh at how I was being a stupid, overreactive fuck about putting myself out there at 25.